|The Life and Times of Meat|
|Enter the Pork Chop Shop and process the Grade A Porkin Meat.|
|Given By||Farmer in the Dell|
|Rewards||110 XP; 95 Fubars|
|Fertilizer and You|| Bringin' Home the Bacon|
Repopulate The Sausage Festival (Unlisted)
|Warning: This section contains spoiler information about The Life and Times of Meat. Please click "show" to view.|
Then, you'll be able to use the Slaughterbot V to process your Grade A Porkin Meat.
"Now that you've got a hold of a big sack of meat (tee hee), it's time to head on down to the local Pork Chop Shop and turn it into a commercialized product for the people of Elanthia to enjoy. "Now I'm friends with all the boys down there at the Pork Chop Shop so you shouldn't have any trouble gettin' in. Once you're inside, use the Meat Grinder they've got down there and go to town!"
Enter the Pork Chop Shop and process your Grade A Porkin Meat
- "What are you waiting for? Go grind your meat like you know you like to."
- ...Wow, really?
Entering the Pork Chop ShopEdit
When you try to enter the Pork Chop Shop, you get the following message:
- Sorry... We're Closed
- You make your way to the doors of the Pork Chop Shop, only to find that they're locked! You knock a few times before someone finally cracks the door open and slides out.. "Uh, sorry for the inconvenience Madam/Sir, but the Shop is closed right now. We're expecting a very important guest soon, so the boss doesn't want any um, visitors right now."
- You can't tell if this guy is hiding something, or if he's just really really daft. "Anyway, he's like, an inspector or something, I dunno. It's kind of a big deal- he has the power to shut down the plant if he finds anything. But yeah, sorry again. Later."
- The mystery man slides back through the door, a series of locking deadbolts following shortly thereafter. Well, it looks like you're not getting in here any time soon. Maybe you should try looking for this inspector fellow.
Talking to Boudin NoirEdit
- Some Real Funny Business
- "Hey, kid. The name's Boudin Noir. I'm the local detective in these parts, and I'm on assignment. As you may already have ascertained, the festival is empty. But it wasn't always this way. In fact, up until recently, this was a booming tourist attraction that helped put Bread Basket on the map.
- "But a few days ago, all the patrons and carnie types up and disappeared. Nobody knows nothin', it seems. Now you look like a smart kid. Maybe you'd like to help? I've set up an investigation of the Pork Chop Shop later today, but franckly I'm a little scared to go in there. After all, they make a living turning guys like me into mush.
- "What do you say? Will you become my official partner in the case of the missing meat?"
- >>> I'll take the case!
- "Excellent! Alright, <name>, take my business card. Use it to grant yourself access to the Chop Shop, then begin your investigation.
- "Oh, I almost forgot. Take this, too. It's some sort of Paddleball. I found it near the abandoned Prize Shoppe. It seemed a little out of place, so I took it in as evidence. Perhaps it will help you discern what went on here."
- Begin your investigation!
Returning to the Pork Chop ShopEdit
- An Unusually Warm Welcome
- With your new-found sense of purpose, you knock the Chop Shop doors dutifully. Once again the weirdo in the apron answers. "Oh uh, hey, it's you again. Listen, that detective still hasn't..." You flash him your Sausage Detective card, witch shuts him up pretty fast.
- "Oh well um, yeah, in that case, come on in! You'll want to talk to my boss, he's overseeing the factory on the top floor. I've uh, got some work to do in the Meat Freezer. I'll see you around, I guess."
- Conduct your investigation
Going to the Slaughterbot VEdit
- Whoa, what is this crazy contraption? No guard rail, no protective shields, no blaring klaxons? This looks like a scene straight out of the 'What-Not-To-Do' part of a Safety In the Work Place video.
- Regardless, you don't know how this thing works. You'll have to talk to the owner about using it to process your Porkin Meat.
Talking to Notorious P.I.G.Edit
- Welcome to the Chop Shop!
- "Welcome to the Porkin Chop Shop! My name is Piggie Smalls, but a lot of people call me by my street name- Notorious P.I.G. If you have any Grade A Porkin Meat, I can process it for you. If you'd like to make that happen, head on over to the Slaughterbot V, our state of the art meat grinder."
- State of the art... meat grinder? How technologically advanced do you need a machine that shreds giblets to be!?
- I'll Meet You There!
Processing the MeatEdit
On returning to the Slaugherbot V
- The Christening of the Slaughterbot V
- You walk over to the Slaughterbot V with Piggie Smalls. You look at the thing with a cringe. Notorious looks at you expectantly. "You've got your Grade A Porkin Meat ready to go, don't you? Throw it in the Grinder! Don't be shy!"
- You look at the machine hesitantly, the glob of Grade A Porkin Meat in your hands. "Come on kid, time is money!" Notorious waddles over and grabs the meat out of your hand, then aims for the chute. It's not until after he tosses that you see it- the tip of the Paddleball Noir gave you sticking out of your Grade A Porkin Meat!
- >>> Get ready for your mind to be blown
- Slaughterbot V- Engage!
- The smoke stacks billow, engines whir, gears grind. The mechanical stabbing hands also put on a good show. The point is that the machine worked. Notorious looks on in anticipation, as he too realizes that the Slaughterbot V was given an accidental ingredient. The conveyor belt hums quietly as an oddly shaped silhouette begins to emerge.
- The belt stops abruptly as you an P.I.G. both look at Slaughterbot's creation. Soothingly, it speaks. "Hi friends, am I too late for the Festival?" A huge smile creeps onto Piggie's face. "You've done it, kid! You've figured out how to save Bread Basket!"
- Damn straisht you did! ...Wait, how did you do that, again?
- The meaty concoction is rolled out the door as the conveyor belt turns back on. He smiles meely as he disapears outside. Notorious looks at you with a huge grin. "When you're ready, kid, you come see me. We have a lot to talk about."
- That was...interesting.