Nothing 'Modest' About Him
Go to The Slammer at Shivshank's Redemption in the Pleasanton Mall and meet with Jack Thornside. Only he knows how to stop the EMP.
Philly wright
Given By Phil Wright
Level 12-13
Location Peso Arcade Back Room
Rewards  ?
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Welcome to the Warp Zone Blast From the Past


“Try as hard as I may, it seems that disarming this bomb is simply beyond my power,” Phil sighs. “ everything else in my life,” he adds quietly.
“On the brighter side of things, I managed to discover that the only way to disarm the EMP is through the use of a secret mechanism of sorts. The only person who would know its whereabouts is Jack Thornside. No doubt he’s hidden it for safekeeping.”
Phil looks at you solemnly. “He’s currently incarcerated in a jail cell at the Pleasanton Mall. You must seek him out and find where he’s hidden the device to disarm the EMP.” The diamond on his pick suddenly glows. “Now hurry up and go! I have an inexplicable urge to go sleep in front of the toilet.”

Meet with Thornside in The Slammer!



During QuestEdit

"I wish I could assist you, but I'm rather incapacitated at the moment," Phil calls out, surrounded by several arcade machines. "Someone moved these here and I seem to be trapped. Don't worry about me- just head to Shivshank's Redemption and speak with Thornside!"

Jack ThornsideEdit

Jack thornside

"He’s a bile-spewing, ambulance-chasing, hate-filled shell of a man with no regard for facts or procedure, fully intent on removing all joy from the world...and he thinks you’re the bad guy in this?"

Sound the Alarmist
You arrive at the jail cell and are surprised to see that the bars on the cell window have mysteriously disappeared. You're even more surprised, though, to see a man in a fine suit and cape preparing to make his escape. As you approach, he turns on you!
"Ha! You've come to try and stop me? You fool! Too blinded by your own stupidity to see that you're being brainwashed? Your beloved video games are nothing more than glorified murder simulators! You tried to stop me, tried to stop JUSTICE by putting me behind bars! But guess what, you little pissant? I'VE BEEN DISBARRED!"
Ah, yes. That explains it. That makes perfect sense.
"And how dare you treat me like this?! After all the calls, emails, and notes taped to bricks that I've sent and/or thrown through windows, urging you vile smut-peddlers to cease and desist your deplorable acts, you throw me in jail?! We have a word for that where I come from, buddy. HARASSMENT."
> Objection! I sentence you to SHUT THE HELL UP!
Boss Fight
> Let him talk. He might let something important slip.
“Studies show that Elanthian children are more violent than ever before!” Jack proclaims, gesturing wildly. “I should know. I conducted the studies myself, using science! And, unburdened by your elitist ‘facts’ and ‘rational thinking’, I came to the conclusion that the Peso Arcade, that den of digital depravity, is solely responsible for this violent trend.”
Of course! It must be the video games and not, you know, the local university that literally teaches its students how to KILL.
“I’m not the bad guy here. Those homicidal fantasy mongers are!” Jack’s face bristles with rage. “Did you know that at this very moment, video game designers are sectrely breaking into children’s bedrooms and replacing their pillows with acid-drenched rap music? AND THAT’S JUST THE FIRST STEP!”
> Offer up a rebuttal. WITH YOUR FIST.
Boss Fight
> Continue listening. Maybe if he keeps yelling, that vein in his head will burst.
You brace yourself for the further onslaught of Jack’s increasingly nonsensical crazy-talk.
“Why would you even defend these electronic slaughterboxes? Do you know how many deaths per second are video-game related? ALL OF THEM. And still you decide to side with them? You and those moral midgets down at the Peso Arcade have picked the wrong target this time! I am not some character in one of your virtual child-killing machines! I’m a crusader for truth, and I am going to throw a slander lawsuit in your big, stupid, dumb face!”
> Enough is enough! It's time to set a precedent for KICKING ASS!
Boss Fight

Defeating ThornsideEdit

You sheathe your weapon, breathing heavily. To your surprise, Jack Thornside slowly stands up, chuckling as he does. His bruised face breaks out into a smile.
"Ha ha!" he laughs triumphantly. "So quick to resort to violence—Just the kind of response I'd expect from a video game mind-slave. Your unprovoked attacks only make my case stronger! Nice work, moron!" With that, he pulls a stack of papers from his jacket and throws them at you, blinding you in a snowstorm of legal jargon. When they finally settle, he is nowhere to be seen.
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Icon cats note You find a Pants Half Off Flyer!
Icon cats note You find Thornside's Letter of Accusation!
Icon homework You find some Loose Leaf Paper (x2)!
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Return to Phil WrightEdit

You approach the EMP just as Phil Wright stumbles into sight, soaking wet. “My apologies, I got into the shower fully dressed,” he says as his hair-crystal slows smugly. “Not by choise, I can assure you.” He looks a you and, noting your crestfallen expression, sighs. “Judging from your demeanor, I must assume that you were unable to procure any type of assistance from Thornside.”
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