It's a Crankmas Miracle!
St. Atham hands you the poster. You can't wait to put this up in your room!
"I'm sure this is just what your assuredly piss-poor excuse of a room needs." St. Atham chuckles. "Now get back to crackin' skulls!"


Crankmas Poster
The Night Before Crankmas
'Twas the night before Crankmas, when all through F.U.,
Not a student was studying, even though it's a school.
The kevlar was worn by the students with care,
In fear that St. Atham soon would be there.

The students were huddled all scared in their dorm,
While visions of violence could be seen in good form.
When down in Townshire, there came such a boom,
Even Prof. Adams poked his head out of his room.

Down in the Mean Streets, with flames burning bright,
Gangs of thugs were rioting all through the night.
And just when everything seemed lost to despair,
A cold, gritty voice rang out through the air.

"About your health or your safety, I don't give a crap!
I'm here to kick ass and gain levels, and I've just hit the cap!"
It was a crazy, bald man in a bitchin' car-sleigh!
"I'm St. Atham, you tossers! And there's hell to pay!"

And in less than a second, with no time to wait,
He revved his engine and called to his cylinders eight;
"Now, Basher! Now, Smasher! On Shocker and Toxin!
On, Combat! on, Boomstick! on, Rocker and Boxin'!"

With a gun in his hand, he charged into the fray,
And proceeded to blow all the baddies away.
The last thing I heard, as he ran down some elves,
Was, "Merry Crankmas, you wankers! You can go @#$% yourselves!"


'Crankmas' Poster

Dorm Room Item

Use in your dorm room to change your Poster.

Nothing says 'holiday cheer' like a the arm of a strung-out adrenaline junkie clutching a makeshift weapon!

Note: This will replace any existing poster


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