Spoiler Alert!
Warning: This article may contain quest spoiling information about Crankmas.

If you don't want to take all the fun out of F.U., we suggest you turn back.
However, if you're ready to rip your hair out, you should probably read on.

Crankmas is a event starting on December 18, 2010, involving St. Atham, the insane gunman with a failing heart. Every 15 minutes he must deliver a gift, or his heart will stop. Crankmas involves killing people who are trying to off St. Atham, and collecting Crankmas cookies, and trading them in for items.

By killing the Enemies on mean streets, you gain Crankmas cookies, which can be traded in for the following items:

Cookies Item
5 Cranknog - usable item thatincreases damage output by 25%
40 Crankmas Poster - a poster to stick in your room
75 Assugar Rifle - a lvl 10 ice-ice damage dealing equipment with a 25% chance to do bonus damage


You can meet St. Atham initially on December 18, when going to Fantasy University
St atham charging by crankmas tree

St. Atham

On meeting himEdit

While walking about the campus, a loud commotion draws you to the Nurse's Office, where you come across a most unusual scene: a bald, muscular man with a present under one arm is pointing a gun at one of the male nurses.

"I don't have all day, you miserable @#$%!" he roars. "Now are you going to JUICE ME, or am I going to deck the halls with the inside of your head?" The nurse, shaking, reaches for what appears to be a defibrillator but apparently not fast enough for the man. "Bloody hell. I'll do it myself!" he shouts, dropping both the gun and the present on the floor With a swift kick to the face, he knocks the nurse unconscious and presses the paddles against his chest. "CLEAR!" he screams as he headbutts the machine's control panel.

You watch in amazement as electricity courses through this man's body before he's literally blown off his feet. Within a second, however, he's back up, and retrieves his gun and the present. "I believe this is for you," he calls, tossing you the present. "Merry Crankmas, you @#$%!" With that, he sprints towards the nearest window and dives headfirst out.

You are then given a Christmas Shank, which is a candy-cane with a sharpened end. At this point you should head back to the Dangerous-Looking Tree

After reaching the tree in the middle of Townshire's Town GreenEdit

"Well, what do you know? I've got a visitor. Come to challenge me, eh?" You quickly shake your head, preferring to stay far out of this man's attack radius. He lets out a dissatisfied grunt and scowls. "Do you even know who I am? I'm St. Atham, the patron saint of Crankmas." You stare blankly.

"Oh @#$% me. You don't even know what Crankmas is, do you? Crankmas is the most extreme holiday in Elanthia. It's my wonderful duty to deliver a present every fifteen minutes," he taps at his chest. "Otherwise, the old strawberry tart goes kaput!" In a flash, he draws his gun and begins firing off into the streets behind you, and you hear a muffled cry of pain.

"Look, why don't you be a good little (class name) and head down to the slums to take care of a couple of these nuisances that keep trying to off me. Cap enough of them, and I might have an extra present or two for you in my sack." HIs face locks up as more electricity surges through him. "NOW GET A @#$% MOVE ON!"

The slums he is referring to is specifically the Mean Streets of Slumville in townshire.

A Friendly Holiday MessageEdit

St. Atham on Flaming Sleigh

As you prepare to enter the Mean Streets, the now familiar sound of gunfire and maniacal laughter reaches your ears. Unsurprisingly, you look up to see St. Atham Flying through the air in his tricked out muscle car-sleigh,

"Oi! Don't forget to bring that shank! You'll need it to get Crankmas Cookies from those stupid knobs! Now get in there and kick som @#$% ass!" With that, he fires his gun unnecessarily into the air and drives off.

At this point you should heed his advice, and equip the Christmas Shank (a trinket slot item) and then re-enter the Mean Streets to fight the Enemies within, including Yakuzelves, Yellow Snowmen, Paindeer and Singerbread Men. Each enemy should drop a Crankmas cookie as long as you have your shank equipped.

WARNING: while fighting in the Mean Streets, there is a chance that Joyeaux Leon a lvl 12 enemy will appear, and there is a further chance that he might do a 505 damage-ish attack, which will instantly kill many players. Everyone below lvl 10 is advised to run, as you are pretty much screwed if you try to fight him,Edit

Not Enough Cookies!Edit

"Oi! What're you tryin' to pull, you goggy?! Think you're gonna get one past ol' St. Atham, do ya?!" A less-than-jolly Atham gives you a wallop right upside the head. "Come back when you learn to count, you tosser!"

Looks like you don't have enough Crankmas cookies! You should probably go grab some more before you try to get your present. Believe me, St. Atham is NOT the kind of guy you want to cheat.

Heed the game's advice. He really does deal damage - around 150 or so each time.


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